Coyote Scramble Ultras
June 24-26, 2016
Kingdom Trails, East Burke, VT
(Applications available Feb 1, 2016)
(all other site pages here will update only after Jan 1)
2014 Results and Report | 2015 Results and Reports
It's a Coyote thing... not a race, more a rambling run-centric party (with Coyote-brand hospitality/awards) on the spectacular single track of the Kingdom Trails.
- Friday: at 4PM at Kingdom Farm (Kingdom Farm Lodge) you'll roam a few miles (7-10?) to get travel kinks out of your legs, then drift over to St Johnsbury's Gold Crown Lanes to display your genetically deficient skills at bowling (whereby said former kinks may return to your legs). Pizza 'n vegetable munchies provided to fuel said deficient skills. Prizes for notably embarrassing performances on the lanes...
- Saturday: at 6AM, y'all will roam the Kingdom Trails, either following our suggested routes (20/30/40'ish miles) or on whatever route your curiosity requires -- we'll have aid stations reasonably positioned to help you wander with sustenance. Post-roam, we'll repair to the Farm for a sizable feed with accompaniment of both your own creative talents (yes, more prizes to earn!!), plus the more practiced sweet rhythms of Tritium Well (don't worry, unless they change their game, there won't be any sing-alongs).
- Sunday: at 7AM, yay!! more Kingdom Trails!! similar game as Saturday (our 15/30'ish miles or your routes), with still more awards to dispense after the Vermont Food Truck Company feeds us (link to them on FB or under Mike's Tiki Bar at this link Yay! 'Chuli's!). After all that, tho you may be tired, sore and otherwise dragged out, a part of you will want to stick around for more dirt and play...
- Bonus: Coyote Veterans (and their invited newbies) will have the option of more miles on the days preceding the Scramble weekend, said options managed via the Buffoon's traditionally confusing emails.
Play options: Limit of 90 (+ 25 for Option 3 only), with Coyote Veterans (and their newbies) having first shot to fill those slots until March 1st, after which anxious lurkers can squeeze thru the portal. Option (1) Consume all 3 days on the trails + 3 meals + Bowling + Tritium Well entertainment on Saturday night + a nifty Patagonia jacket + a spiffy T + all the nifty hospitality; Option (2) Option 1 above minus Sunday's run/hospitality minus Sunday's meal; or Option (3) Just Saturday cuz we're the best trail game in town that weekend but you're not that fired up yet for THAT much Coyote stuff, but you'll still get a T (you'll pay extra for Saturday eve meal/entertainment + Patagonia jacket). No, you can't run just Friday or just Sunday.
Apparel Plus-Up: if we can find a good retro bowling shirt company for the style-sensitive goofballs among you, we'll add that to the shwag menu. Details and option prices once we tag items and suppliers, but surely by the time the applications appear.
Option (4): More Miles on non-Kingdom Trails dirt on Wed/Thur!! available only to Vets and their invitees (and still subject to the Buffoon vetting), because for some people outside a 200 mile radius, traveling to a smidge below Cananadada for a measly 2.5 days and less than 100 miles isn't enough tease (Buford the penultimate exception).
Speaking of Bonuses, Coyote events also involve the liberal distribution of bonus/boner miles for extraneous wandering, other evidence of stellar performance (yes, the entertainment shtick), and generally sucking up to Vols -- 2014/2015 results reflect such adjustments. The boner opportunities also serve to disabuse the highly competitive from thinking that just because they're zippy, they de facto deserve top dog recognition. (It's a party, not a race!!) Another Coyote tradition that more than a handful of very accomplished runners have earned enough boner minutes to drop significantly in the official standings (a recognition that UltraSignup doesn't filter) to reveal less than spectacular results for one's performance resume. To the positive side of this silliness, returning Vets garner instant bonus miles just for entering; the more you play (well), the more BM's you'll earn!!
Because Coyote "official" results rarely mirror runners' reality on the dirt and because the curmudgeonly Buffoon rather likes the more interactive communication that the online registration format usually can't provide w/o charging additional fees for the privilege of said interaction, we retreat to former days of a (mostly) paper communication format for registration -- you send email to buffoon(at)coyotemoonultras.com; you'll get digital App; you'll print hardcopy and send App + $$ via snailmail. Once the Buffoon approves your App (translate: your $$ gets deposited and your App isn't otherwise rejected for the right reason (Buffoon logic always in doubt)), we'll begin a series of e-mail exchanges + website posts leading up to the party itself. Hey, it saves YOU $$ that gets diverted into hospitality.
Special Note on Lodging: the Kingdom Farm is such a gem, of course we're staging from there Fri-Sun; details on reservations for space will be included once the App goes live. As for all other lodging opportunities, we're researching other nearby "group house" options, to keep the "cozy together" theme alive, but we'll also have comments on other available accommodations.
Cutoffs: March 1st for Vet & invitee entrants, open to all others after that. May 15th if'n you want a jacket and/or T; June 15th is absolute cutoff (no event day sign-ups) without change in price tag despite no promise of a T. (We'll order extra T's, but that inventory likely won't be deep enough to satisfy all late comers.)
Cautiously curious? Sneak up on that skunk with a little research on Coyote non-events or pester a veteran -- guarantee their stories will ring truer in your ears than my skewered words... See you on the dirt!!
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